➹ [Read] ➵ Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey ➼ – Uroturk.info

Deep Thoughts I just pulled out my old copy of this today What a timeless classic One on my favorites If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is God is Crying And if asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is Probably because of something you did. Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is whyseveral of us died of tuberculosis. Review about to be underway. You re probably familiar with Jack Handey s hilarious Deep Thoughts if you watched Saturday Night Live in the 1990 s This super quick read provides random and completely irrelevant thoughts on life and many other odd things Don t come here looking for eloquent prose or thought provoking text, simply read Handey s hilarious one liners and enjoy the feel of the smile that will without a doubt appear on your face There are several sequels to this book along with a collection of family related anecdotes called Fuzzy Memories Don t be sad when you finish the book, simply run out and get the next one Let these remind you of old times Better times Times when SNL was funny If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is God is crying And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is Probably because of something you did One thing kids like is to be tricked For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned out warehouse Oh no, I said, Disneyland burned down He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. If you start reading this, you might, at first, think it s a lame quotations book, but as you read further, you ll realize it s actually not it s a lame AND FUNNY quotations book.Just to give you taste of it s dry humour Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down I ll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell When the person comes to the door, I m gone, but you know what I ve left on the porch A jack o lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it s head with a note that says You After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. Real deep thoughts A National Bestselling Collection Of Comedian Jack Handey S Deep Thoughts Short, Funny Observations On Life That Were Shown In Between Sketches On Saturday Night Live With Quirky, Offbeat Humor That Often Veers Into The Unexpected, Jack Handey S Witty One Liners Make This Book The Perfect Funny Gift For Fans Of Mitch Hedberg Or For Anyone Who Appreciates A Good Dad JokeIncludes Daily Wisdom Such AsIf You Ever Fall Off The Sears Tower, Just Go Real Limp, Because Maybe You Ll Look Like A Dummy And People Will Try To Catch You Because, Hey, Free Dummy It Takes A Big Man To Cry, But It Takes A Bigger Man To Laugh At That Man i found this gem in a thrift store for 50 cents it never ceases to make me laugh i ll often just pick it up off the coffee table and read a page and it will keep a smile on my face for the day my favorite part being the disneyland piece too funny it s a great coffee table book for homes of the dry witty hud I wonder if we d be so cavilier about cutting trees down if they could scream I but we would if they screamed all the time and for no good reason. Totally hilarious.

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About the Author: Jack Handey

Jack Handey is an American humorist He is best known for his Deep Thoughts, a large body of surrealistic one liner jokes, as well as his Fuzzy Memories and My Big Thick Novel shorts Many people have the false impression that Jack Handey is not an actual person, but a character created by Saturday Night Live or a pen name used by National Lampoon.